Cat Food Walking


There are ants here. Varieties of ants. They scavenge for food. They’ll haul away bread crumbs, crumbs of any kind, really, and all sorts of miscellaneous unrecognizable bits of this and that.

They also walk away with my cats’ food.

I feed them, the little beasties, dry cat food. I have no patience to deal with wet. I have, however, been considering, much more recently, supplementing their diets with cheap fish – whatever’s the cheapest at the grocery store. If I do that, I’d have to chop it all up real good, and we’d have a fish smell, and there’s always the chance that the beasties would have bad breath. As it is, their breath is rather tolerable – because they eat dry only.

But let’s get back to the dry cat food. If you’re not familiar with it, dry cat food is, guess what? dry. It’s usually in little shapes, like stars, or fish, or chicken, or something else equally inane. They’re usually about 1 cm in diameter at the largest. Not too big, not too small.

And I could, at this point, talk about how much of a pig Oberon is, eating something like four times as much as Tellulah does. Or I could even go on another tangerine about a neighborhood cat, orange, who sneaks into my kitchen and eats my little lovable kitty’s food. I could even tell you how I chase that damn cat out of my house, and even though it runs, it isn’t scared. We both know it.

But I won’t. I’ll stay on topic this time. What a miracle, eh?

I’ll just talk about those thievin’ ants.

They steal my cats’ food, and they haul it away. A whole bunch of them. Cuz one or two ants wouldn’t be able to pick it up, even though they can lift something like 50 times their weight.

This morning, I saw a piece of cat food wandering across the floor.

That’s the usual hint that the ants are up to no good.

You see, even I know that cat food isn’t actually capable of walking on its own two or four feet, of which it actually has none. Last time I checked, anyway.

There are something like twenty ants in front, scouting, and another twenty bringing up the rear, and something like twenty or thirty doing the heavy lifting. Personally, I think those ones got the raw deal.

I’ll take a picture next time. It didn’t even occur to me to take a pic before.

Do ya wanna see it?

Aw, do I care? I’ll take it anyway – if only for my own amusements sake.

Oh, and do you want to know what happened to the ants?

Big ol’ mean human (that would be me. Honestly, do I have to provide diagrams and flow charts?) killed ’em. Killed ’em all. Dead.

Then swept them out the front door.

And for the record – yes, I DO know there will be a next time in which to take pics. How do I know this? Because this happens every five days or so.

We also have certain parts of the house where ant infestations like to crop up. The bathroom doorjamb is one, the spare bedroom doorjamb is another. Those are the two most common. I keep watch for growing ant infestations by watching the floor – seeing what moves on its own. That’s when I know it’s time to grab the bug spray. And no, there is no way to avoid having these infestations. Unless you’re willing to have no wood products – at all – and you always have a completely immaculate house – as in no food particles of any kind ever in even the minutest quantities anywhere that’s the least bit accessible to ants, who can crawl across walls and upside down on the bottoms of cupboards.. Do you know ANYONE who can manage that? I don’t.

Well, anyway, I took the picture tomorrow. Here it is. Ignore the obvious visible signs of dirt, dust, and grains of sand and pebbles and cat hair and cat whiskers on the tile – I swept yesterday. Seriously. Anyway, here are those pesky ants walking away with another – always yet another – piece of cat food – tomorrow.

Don’t’cha love the miracle of time travel?

And am I gonna have to start figuring out how to conjugate verbs in the future past tense?

Author: LMAshton

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