24 is a Rotter

Fahim’s 24 didn’t entirely work. We started watching it yesterday, and it skipped on the DVD player. No, let me correct that. Not skipped. Paused and got stuck.

On two successive DVDs. Fahim is not happy.

Fahim took them back to the store and they replaced them.

The new ones paused and got stuck as well.

But when we played them on the laptop, they work flawlessly. Fahim, dearest, I think your DVD player, ahem, I mean, our DVD player, needs cleaning.

Whatever. Anyway, we watched another hour before I went to church, and then a bunch more when I came home from church. Fahim is addicted. Well, I watched with him, so I guess either I’m also addicted, or I’m an accessory. Something like that.

Oh, and while he was out replacing those DVDs that got stuck, he bought some more movies. Runaway Jury, which is based on the novel by John Grisham of the same name.

The blurb on the back of the cover reads as follows, all spelling and punctuation is faithfully reproduced:

"Runaway Jury. Trials are too important to be dedicated by juries." Interruption. The front cover reads "Trials are too important to be decided by juries." I think, I suspect, and really, I do believe, that the front cover is probably the correct version. What do you think? You want to vote on this, too? It continues. "Set in New Orleans, this is the story of a mystreious man, Nick Easter (Cusak) who gets himself on the jury of a landmark case againt a gun manufacturer in an attempt to influence the other jury member to vote a certain way. Meanwhile, Esters girlfriend, Marlee (Weisz), tries to swindle the attornies (Hackman, Hoffman) to pay millions of dollars to have the jury return a verdict friendly to their clients. The case involves the widow of a man killed in an office shooting suing the gun manufacturer of the weapon that was used, under the claim that as used, under the claim that they knew the store that sold it was not obeying the laws about firearm sales."

Yeah, where to start? Well, I have to admit that I wasn’t aware that in New Orleans, jury trials had only two jury members. But I guess they’re probably just doing their best to deal with a situation where not enough people show up to serve jury duty. That’d be my guess. And John changed his name. Apparently he got tired of that extra C in his last name. Can’t say I blame him. Make it simple, I say. Oh, I won’t even pick on the possessives being replaced by plurals – that’s not a problem exclusive of the Asian community – it’s everywhere, man.

Another movie he picked up is The Hard Word, and his rationale for getting it was that it has Guy Pearce. Well, okay. Works for me. I liked him in Memento, The Time Machine, and, let me see, was he in The Count of Monte Cristo? I think so.

And here’s how the quotes on the back reads for this one.

"When sex and greed come between bad cops and good criminals the consequences are fatel. For some."

Well, whoever wrote the blurb obviously didn’t see the movie. Not only was there no sex, the only allusion to it were statements about so and so sleeping with so and so. Honestly, I’m relieved. That’s enough and close enough to sex in the movie for me.

"A taut steamy thriller, full of etectricity. . ."

Also, not quite. But I digress.

"Hits like a farmmer" – okay, I’m really confused. Not only do I not know what a farmmer is, but the closest word I can imagine it to be makes no sense at all. Since when are farmers that tough? Or did he mean hammer and they butchered it THAT badly?

And now for the blurb.

"Dale Mal and shane are the Twentyman brothers. They’re Masters of their craft armed robbery their only rule is no one gets hurt their only problems is they’re mostly on remand their crooked lawyer frank malone who is having an affair with dale wife carol enables them to get out on bail for long enough to do a heist before bring returned to jail a final job is lined up with the prospect of weath and freedom to follow when it all goes wrong the brothers disvoers the full extent of franks treachery as they make a desperate escape"

And in the next paragraph, it continues.

"get ready for a thriller that packes a punch as fierce as lock stock and two smoking Barrels and deliver it twice as hard with awesome performaces from Guy Pearce (Memento’the Time Machine") Rachel Griffiths ("The Rookie" TV’s Six Feet Under) Robert Taylor (the Matrix) Joel Edgerton (TV’s The Secret Life of Us) Damien Richardson (Mallboy) and vince Colosimo (Lantana)"

And I’m not even kidding. That’s exactly how it reads.

Okay, you know what? It’s one thing to make mistakes. It’s another to not even follow your own rules with a mistake. No, no, they change how they screw up every single time . . .

The last one on the list of DVDs he bought today is "Kuch naa Kaho", an Indian film. It’s funny, from my perspective, that it’s in Hindi with English subtitles, but the movie is sold with English blurbs and writeups on the DVD packaging. Hmm.

Its blurb reads as follows.

"Raj (abhishek bachan) is a NRI living in new york who is against the idea of an arranged marriage Raj visits India to attend a family wedding and is smitten by the beautiful Namrata (Aishwaria rai) His Uncle,s colleague who happily agree to help Raj find a suitable Indian bride.However, fate has other ideas for the pair as they soon realize that their love ,is a match made in heaven.Kuch Na Kaho is heart warming romance by debutante director Rohan sippy.Join them in their quest for true love happiness and finding that perfect soul mate."

And look, it’s only 166 minutes long. For the mathematically challenged, that’s 2 hours and 46 minutes. Not bad for a Hindi movie. I mean, not that long for a Hindi movie.

Author: LMAshton
Howdy! I'm a beginner artist, hobbyist photographer, kitchen witch, wanderer by nature, and hermit introvert. This is my blog feed. You can find my fediverse posts at https://a.farook.org/Laurie.

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