Severely Overpriced Computer Cables

My brother Tony’s blog can be a bit, well, geeky and way over my head when he talks about programming, Access, and such like that, but he also has some other interesting posts. Like this one about overpriced computer cables.

Who, in their right mind, would pay $499 US for a 1.5 meter cable? It’s not like it’s made of gold, platinum, or even gold-pressed latinum.

But then, here’s The Joy of Tech – Why premium cables cost so much. Thanks to Tony’s blog entry, of course. 🙂

All insanity aside, I followed the links in his blog entry to another site to another until I finally got to the Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable on Amazon, where it’s on sale for only $290.01 (I couldn’t find it on the Denon site, so it may be discontinued) and their reviews.

Oh. My. Goodness. The reviews.

But first things first. Go to the bathroom. You do not want to risk an accident. And if you’ve got a nasty cough or you’re in the middle of an asthma attack, please, don’t read them. Wait until you’re fully recovered.

Believe me – I’ve got a nasty cold that went into my lungs, so I’m wheezing and coughing right now. I made it through three reviews before I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe, the wheezing got so loud that my husband became seriously alarmed, and I started coughing uncontrollably, which meant that I couldn’t breathe, which I already couldn’t do because of the wheezing. I turned red, then purple. And the husband forbade me from reading any more until I’m over this cold. And I agreed with him. They’re just too funny to risk reading any more right now.

An excerpt:

A caution to people buying these: if you do not follow the “directional markings” on the cables, your music will play backwards. Please check that before mentioning it in your reviews.

Another excerpt:

I installed one of these cables between my gigabit ethernet switch and my Canon Pixma 6700 color printer. I know it’s not a sanctioned use, but I was looking for the ultimate in speed and color fidelity. I’m freaky that way.

The first time I downloaded a picture to the printer over this cable, the bits moved so fast the printer collapsed into a naked singularity, right there in my office.

Since then, I can’t find the cat, and my entire set of VAX/VMS 4.7 documentation (DEC Will Rise Again!) (Mmmmm, orangey!) has gone missing.

Please, for the love of God, please, do not use these cables! The very existence of Earth may depend on your decision!

UPDATE: I mean, can you imagine *two* naked singularities, one male, one female, on the Howard Stern show? Not even a loving God could excuse this!

Who couldn’t love these? 😀

Author: LMAshton
Howdy! I'm a beginner artist, hobbyist photographer, kitchen witch, wanderer by nature, and hermit introvert. This is my blog feed. You can find my fediverse posts at

5 thoughts on “Severely Overpriced Computer Cables

  1. Huh. I followed that link yesterday and it didn’t work, but now it does. That’s why I gathered it might be discontinued. Guess not. 🙂

    Tony, I left two comments on your blog yesterday, one for this post of yours, but I didn’t see either of them showing up. Do you have your comments set to moderation?

  2. Okay, I admit I was skeptical about how funny reviews for a cable could be. I thought maybe you just got lucky with the two excerpts you posted. But no! Those are hysterical… and scary. I’m almost tempted to think it’s the same person just trying to come up with outrageous review after outrageous review. Wow.

    And I was annoyed last month when I had to have a hinge replaced on my laptop. $50. For a hinge. Hmph. Good thing I didn’t need this cable!

  3. Rachel, it surprised me, too, when I came across them. The people who wrote them – well, I hope they start writing science fiction or fantasy cuz they got da talent!

    I especially enjoyed the Stargate themed one. 😀

    Be glad you didn’t have to replace your notebook display. I had one go once when the notebook was still under warranty and the repair guy told me the part alone would have cost me $1400. Yikes!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.