The Totem
- Posted by Laurie Ashton on September 4th, 2006 filed in Uncategorized
“Hey, will you shut up already?We got people approaching,” said Eagle.
“You telling me to shut up? You’re the one who babbles incessantly. Can’t get you to shut up, not even when you’re sleeping,” complained the Wolf.
“Oh, you’re a great one to talk. You could at least enunciate Shut up! They’re nearly here!”
The crunch of gravel alerted them to the close proximity of their visitors. “I wonder what these ones want,” complained Wolf under his breath. Eagle was tempted to bat Wolf’s ears with his large wings, but couldn’t without being seen.
A young man and a young woman, both in their early twenties, approached the totem. The young woman wiped tears off her face with a tattered tissue she’d grabbed from her pocket. “I will not have an abortion, and you can’t make me, so stop it,” she pleaded.
“But if you have the baby, then our lives will change permanently. If I’m going to support you, I’ll have to quit school, and you know I can’t get a decent job without at least a Master’s degree, and I don’t want to quit, not when I’m so close to completing it.”
“You don’t have to support me. I’ll move back in with my parents. Then you don’t have to worry about a thing. You can get your degree, unburdened by either me or our child.” Fresh tears streamed down her face.
The young man put his arm on her shoulder as if to comfort her, but she pulled away. “And you know if you do that, your parents will find a way to prevent us from ever being together. You know they hate me, and they’ll manipulate you and guilt you. You know that. That’ll be ending us permanently. Is that what you want?” His voice rose a few decibels.
“Stephen, stop it! You know we don’t have a lot of options. What else is there to do?” She turned to look at him. “No, I told you, an abortion is out of the question. Give me an option I can live with.” She took a couple steps back, into the arms of the wolf on the old wooden totem carved by Ucluelet Indians hundreds of years before. The wolf’s piercing eyes stared down at the couple, his white teeth bared menacingly as he clutched a cat to his stomach. An eagle with a large yellow beak and eyes wide open perched on his head.
“Just give me an option that works. For both of us.” Her face took on a pale sheen as her eyes closed momentarily.
She opened her mouth as if to speak, but no words came out. “I don’t feel too well.” She crumpled to the ground at the base of the totem. “I’m getting cramps. I don’t want cramps. I don’t want to lose this baby! Stephen, help me,” she pleaded.
Stephen rushed to her side, kneeling beside her. He put his hand on her face, studying her. He opened his mouth as if to speak, then hesitated. As she turned whiter, he sputtered. “Okay, I get it. This baby is important to you. Why don’t we get married? We’re planning on that anyway. This is just sooner than I’d counted on, and then we can get family housing and qualify for family health insurance. Money will be tight, but I think we can do it and it’ll still let me finish the degree. We’ll be a lot poorer than I’d like, but we can manage. What do you say, Ems, will you marry me?” He looked shocked that he would suggest such a thing.
She took a deep breath, her eyes barely open. “Is this what you really want? I don’t want you marrying me out of obligation. Only if you really mean it, Stephen. Do you?”
Stephen studied her and relaxed. “Yes, Ems, I really mean it. Will you marry me?”
Ems smiled and looked at him. “Yes, oh yes!” Color returned to her cheeks. “Oh, the cramps are gone. I feel a lot better.” Stephen reached out an arm and helped her to her feet.
“How soon do you want to get married?”
Emma shrugged. “It’s up to you, but I don’t see a point in waiting. Do you?”
He smiled. “Not if we can have a small wedding. You know I hate crowds.”
She laughed. “Okay, small wedding it is. Say, a dozen or so? Our parents and sibs only. Tomorrow, at the church, if we can get the license today.”
He laughed. “You’re on. Shall we do that, then get the rings?” They wandered off down the worn foot path.
“Wolf, you weren’t giving her a miscarriage, were you?”
“You didn’t change his mind, did you, Eagle?”
“Wolf, you need to stop meddling in people’s lives. Let them alone!”
“I will if you will.” They both smiled.























September 5th, 2006 at 1:26 am
Hmmm, very interesting. I understood the conflict right away– although, dare I say it, the dialogue read a little like a soap opera… (Sorry!)
September 5th, 2006 at 1:56 am
And we think old magic is gone uh? The change in POV not very jarring the way you did it
September 5th, 2006 at 7:54 am
Nice storyline. Some description of the couple might help readers better visulaize the scene. On the other hand, there’s no need to give the human’s ages then also describe them as “young.” There were a few little gliches, such as “complained” being used in two early tags, but nothing a rewrite or two wouldn’t smooth out.
Bayou Bill
September 8th, 2006 at 10:55 am
Nice mix of humorous/whimsical elements with a heavy theme.
September 8th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
Funny story and interesting theme. I don’t imagine the Indians knew what they were carving way back when.
September 8th, 2006 at 7:17 pm
I like the idea of the totems having an effect on the “real” world.
September 9th, 2006 at 4:51 am
I liked how this story began. The dialogue between the two halves of the totem started out light and lead into the heaviness of the issue of the unexpected pregnancy. I really liked the reaction of the boyfriend to his girlfriend as he realized she was in real pain and danger. Their evolving discussion was a good way to show the characters. I got a real sense of them and their relationship. However, it was the ending that really got to me. The idea of the two on the totem affecting the human world and both calling each other on it was a nice spin to the story. I wonder how many times one has won out over the other.
September 30th, 2006 at 3:03 am
Knew the totem would be involved as soon as she stepped back into it, but I liked it. Other forces meddling and isn’t that the way of it. lol